The Weekly Grind - 1.31

We are itching ever closer to that heralded 10,000th hit mark and I have to say, it feels like that number is a bit inflated. Seriously though, no matter how you slice it, its a grand accomplishment. Whether it was me rereading every single one of my posts 10,000 straight times or 10,000 new readers wondering what kind of thoughts were random enough to warrant their own blog, this site has grown from a pipe dream to a pipe reality and I would like to thank my readers and my contributors for putting it all together. And on that note...much like a sitcom that has ran out of ideas and needs to fill a time slot..here are a few of my favorite posts.

TTEOTFSONATL - Hockey? in blog-form? You betcha!!

Good ol' Collectors Knives - a good friend, a better collector of sharp utensils.

February Showers bring Aprils Fool's jokes - a few months away I know, but now is the time to start planning to make people look foolish on the first day of April.

Morgan Freeman, starring Morgan Freeman, narrated by Morgan Freeman= Box Office Success

An Article from the Vault inside an Article from the Vault - Heels vs Duke Feb. 7 - Over/Under on how many minutes spent crying by EA - 37

Does Fred Coleman really suck? - find out the answer here...quick hint- yes he does suck but why?

Boy I feel awfully dirty doing a flashback post. But hopefully you will enjoy some of the better posts. I will be back to my old self once I get into my new routine of working 12-9 pm. Then, you will remember how I used to post original stuff about classic nintendo games and lemon with water debacles...til that day comes, keep reading and lets push toward that 25,000 mark!

EA vs Bookies II

Its been a while since I posted and I apologize. I have taken a new job at Chase and have been busy the last three weeks or so. Rest easy my friends as after this week I will be able to devote more time to this blog. The Weekly Grind will be back and better than ever and I will start making my picks regularly to curb that insatiable hunger for the "action" as some call it.

Tonight I am blessed with both of my teams in action. The Tar Heels play BC at home and Michigan hosts Michigan State. With that in mind...on to the picks we go.

UNC (-3) v BC
Michigan (+1.5) v MSU
St Bona (+10.5) at Dayton

YESTERDAY 1-2 MONTH 1-2 YEAR 1-2 MONEY -10

Review: Glory Road

Just caught Glory Road with my movie buddy, Colin. The bottom line was it was a story that needed telling, and it was told well. It didn't have a defining scene or performance that took it into the upper echelon of sports movies, but I don't think any movie has since Field of Dreams. Buoyed by the significance of the actual event, I'll put Glory Road right up there with any sports movie since Ray heard the voice.

Coincidentally, Josh Lucas looks and sounds identical to Kevin Costner, but that's neither here nor there.

Sports movies as a rule feature ensemble casts, which can cause a couple problems. First, if you try to get too many stars on the team, they end up being a distraction. Second, some movies go too far to make each character interesting, and wind up with the "Batman: Sequels" problem, where there were just too many storylines going on for too many different characters. Glory Road, fortunately, did not fall into either trap.

The basketball action wasn't striking, as I think I remember it being in Coach Carter a year ago, but it wasn't distracting either. I give it a B in that category.

But most importantly, they didn't go too far to Hollywoodize a story that was powerful enough on its own (see Jeff Merron's Reel Life column). Make sure you stay during the credits, because they interview some of the players, Haskins, and Pat Riley, who led Kentucky against Texas Western that year. Watching those sound bites, I realized I would have preferred an hour long Sportscentury about the team. But not everyone would, and that's why Glory Road is a success.

OK, I gotta get back to the TV room. The Big East is finally displaying it's dominance for the nation to see!

NCAA Survivor 1/20/06

In the immortal words of Gunther, "You Love It!!" (By the way, if you're not listening to Gunther, you're not listening to Eurotrash.)

I've just got to lead off this column with a shout-out to Louie McCroskey, who Monday night against UConn executed the best non-Hak dunk I've ever witnessed in person. Here's four reasons why it blew me away:

1. It came out of nowhere in the course of the game. SU was getting buried. And if you didn't watch the game, let me just inform you that we were dominated from start to finish. But Louie's dunk was the first burst of attitude from the Orange, and I think set a "we're probably not gonna win, but we're not gonna give up either" tone for the rest of the game.

2. It came out of nowhere in the course of Louie's career. Here's a guy who has been the most athletic player on the court for the orange for the three year's he's been here. I'm talking in terms of the complete package: speed, agility, and strength. We knew he could jump because of his uncanny rebounding skills for a 6'5" guard. But for some reason, we never pieced that all together and realized he could dunk. He'd never shown us. Until Monday.

3. It was right in the face of Hilton Armstrong, a guy who's got half a foot on Louie, and who averages 3.2 blocks per game. A guy who was red hot coming into the contest, but was really the only Huskie to have a disappointing game, probably because of that embarassment. Louie had a teammate running the floor with him and we all expected him to pass it off rather than take on Hilton.

4. I've never seen anyone dunk with the obvious intention of groining another man in the face. I've seen people do that when they come down, but never on the way up.

Louie McCroskey can henceforth do no wrong.

SU (15-3): The orange, on the other hand... Here's the thing; Calhoun owns Gerry McNamara, and thus, the Orange. The year we won the title, we went 0-3 against the Huskies. Gerry has averaged 11 points against UConn in his career. So Monday night, from my seat up in 302, I only learned one thing: the Huskies are awesome. Better than Duke. Yup. I said it. And I've seen them both play live. As for the Orange, I'm not taking them off this list yet. And as long as they win one of their next two (@ Nova, @ Pitt), I'll still probably leave them on.

Here is the list, by the way:


Cream
Duke
UConn

Top Two Tiers
Gonzaga
Michigan St
Villanova
Louisville
Memphis
Illinois
Washington
Florida
------
Maryland
West Virginia
UNC (in some sort of odd metamorphosis of the Ewing Theory)
Pitt
Wake

The SU Tier
SU

The Thad Matta Tier
Ohio State


Indiana (11-3): Besides residing in a suddenly powerful Big 10 conference, Indiana plays UConn on Feb 4 and already played (and lost to) Duke this year. By the way, the Final Four is in Indy this year. The only other thing you have to know is Marco Killingsworth, who just transfered in from Auburn and is playing in his final year of elligibility, is freakin good. Fyall suggested he looks like a bigger Melo (who he played against in the NCAA tournament). Remember my number one rule: you don't win championships with your frontcourt. Plus, they're other stud forwrd, DJ White, might be out for the year. You know what? I just talked myself out of them. This is a solid sweet sixteen team, but not much more. Until I'm impressed by their guards, Indiana stays off the list.

UNC (10-4): Tyler Hansbrough. Nice looking Freshman. Wait...wait...he's white. Considering he scores 5 points per game more than anyone else, can we agree he's the best player on UNC? OK. Now when was the last time a team who's best player was white won the National Championship? Unless I'm mistaken (and feel free to correct me), it was Eric Montross of the Tar Heels back in 93, who followed another white best player in Christian Laettner. Montross might have been the top pick the draft that year, but he came back for his senior season, played himself down to the 9th pick, and was never quite the same. So let's call this the Montross Curse: you can't win the championship if your best player is white.

So that also eliminates Duke, Gonzaga, SU, West Virginia...

Wait a second... scratch all that! The very fact that some guy named Tyler Hansbrough is UNC's best player eliminates them from the start!

Louisville (13-4): You absolutely must prove yourself with quality wins. From here on out, they play five teams that are currently ranked, and the only one they get at home is UConn. Word on the street is Louisville just ain't that good. Drop them off the list.

Ohio St (13-2): Do you realize that their only losses have been at Indiana by 3 and vs. Michigan St by 2? Do you realize they still haven't received confirmation that the NCAA is going to let them play in the Tourney? Do you realize Ohio State has the first or second best recruiting class next year, and yet they're battling for a Big Ten title this year? Do you realize Thad Matta and Roy Wiliams were the only coaches to beat Illinois last year? And Thad Matta and Eddie Sutton were the only coaches to beat St. Joe's the year before that? That's why he get's his own tier, from now until he retires.


Cream
UConn
Duke

Top Two Tiers
Gonzaga
Michigan St
Villanova
Memphis
Illinois
Washington
Florida
------
Maryland
West Virginia
Pitt
Wake

The SU Tier
SU

The Thad Matta Tier
Ohio State


Down to 15. I'd like to point out that I had Pitt on my board before they were ranked. Now look at em. We'll see how long I can stick with Wake.

Next time on NCAA survivor... SU's adds quality road win(s) to resume!

EA vs Vegas Bookies II

Since I have stopped betting on sports, I am going to post my daily picks and track how I am doing over the course of the year...again. For those loyal to the blog, I kept track religously last year over the course of the college hoops season. I would have lost 1590 bucks over the course of 177 games. Not too good. Lets see if I can't step it up this year.

For the first night, I am going to take only a couple games. Ya know...get my feet wet with some locks.

OSU (-4.5) vs Wisconsin...call it that Thad Matta lock of the week.
Northwestern (+10) @ Michigan. The Wolverines and the Tar Heels will be in the big Dance this year. But both probably lack the knockout punch needed to go deep.
USC (+8) @ UCLA- do the O"Bannon brothers still play for the Bruins? Didn't think so. Maybe I just have too much respect for the Trojans for beating UNC a few weeks ago but this one is the lock of the week.

YESTERDAY 0-0 MONTH 0-0 YEAR 0-0 MONEY even

Good Grief!

The Bears lost....and it stings. Very much so indeed. Lovie Smith should return the Coach of the Year award to the NFL and give it to Bill Cowher. Seriously after the second 50+ yard reception by Steve Smith in the first 17 minutes, I began to think "maybe they should be guarding him with not one, but two or possibly three players each snap". 19 catches and 200 yards later, the Panthers won 29-21 and the last 18 weeks were all for not. Its sad....very sad.

Thankfully, I started watching the new season of 24 and started to laugh again. Seriously, this show has gone from the unbelievably crazy to the regretably predictable. I have been shaking my head in disbelief for the last 1.5 hours. This show is so fucking ridiculous. you know how when your basketball team is down 6 points with 8 seconds left and you say "well they can shoot the 3, steal and shoot another three and get fouled and make the free throw to win" and everyone laughs thinking that it cant possibly happen. Well the show 24 actually has it happen every single episode. and I've had enough. Im officially boycotting 24. Anyone wanting to join me can email at ea20@yahoo.com. If its as popular as my weekly grind column, then the 24 producers should be afraid. very afraid. Haha.

Arrasian Foolishness

There are a lot of good commercials out there, but with a few exceptions, it's usually hard to remember exactly which brand did which commercial, unless their name is right in the joke (Budweiser frogs, Bud Light stuntman, etc.). However, have you noticed how it's very easy to match a cell phone company with their commercials, even though they're in generally mediocre as far as entertainment goes? Try this quiz:

Match the commercial to the company...

1. Dude with the trenchcoat
2. The can you hear me now guy
3. People getting things done
4. Famous Welsh hottie tells us to Get More of something
5. 5 bars hidden in the landscape

A. Sprint
B. Verizon
C. T-Mobile
D. Nextel
E. Cingular

Piece of cake, right? I don't know what it means, I'm just pointing it out. In the meantime, I can't remember which company did those light beer trials, or which company is being advertised in the halftime beer run commercials. I know it's Miller or Bud, but I'm not sure which.

The only other point I'd like to make about this is that Coors is an outstanding exception to the beer commercial confusion because all their commercials suck. If it's a stupid commercial about beer, it's Coors . Can you name one Coors commercial from the past 10 years that didn't make you want to gouge your eyes out with your remote control? I think the main problem is they don't like to get too edgy because of Pete Coors' religious right affiliation.

Speaking of politics, have you ever noticed how the religious right sometimes doesn't seem too religious and is rarely right? Whereas I, on the other hand, am often religious and always right. The only thing we have in common is we both encouraged people to vote for Nader in 2000.

To sum up, if I was a pro-wrestler, I'd call myself the New Religious Right and have all sorts of trick moves that also make good points about the environment, like the "Hybrid." And I'd always love my enemies, thereby heaping burning coals on their heads.


Answers: 1-A, 2-B, 3-D, 4-C, 5-E

NCAA Survivor - 1/11/06

This is why I will never work a 9-5 job. I can't sleep tonight. So I'll reward you with an NCAA survivor update, even though Bracketology just came out and, if you're anything like me, your brain should still be humming nicely in that wake.

A lot has happened in the two weeks since my last installment. As conference season begins, teams are free-falling left and right. The tricky part about judging NCAA teams is that even championship teams go through valleys, especially in these days of increased parity. We look for sure things but find none; instead we are left with The Three Pointless If's:

If you're in a major conference, you're going to lose a couple games.
If you lose a couple games, you can still win the championship.
If you're not in a top conference, you may not lose a couple games, but your chance to prove yourself has come and gone, so come March, no one will be quite sure how much you've improved, if at all.

So how do we eliminate teams? By the next time I post, we'll start to see which teams rally from their free-fall, a good sign of quality (Texas has turned things around since getting booted last time). But for now, I'm going to take a look at talent in the current field of 20 from last time:

Top Two Tiers
Duke
SU
UConn
Gonzaga
Michigan St
Villanova
Louisville
Memphis
Illinois
Washington
------
Oklahoma
Maryland
Florida
West Virginia
UNC (in some sort of odd metamorphosis of the Ewing Theory)
Kensucky
Pitt
Ohio State (Thad Matta Factor)
Wake
BC

Talent is an obvious pre-requisite, if a subjective one. But I'm not Joe Lunardi or Superman. I'm only human, so I'll just do my best.

Kensucky (10-5): Classic bracket mistake is picking a team that was a surprise last year simply because they were a surprise last year. You glance at Kensucky's box score..."Ooh! Sparks! Rondo! Morris! I recognize those names, therefore I will pick Kensucky!" The Wildcats are solid, but championship caliber? Sparks? Please. See ya, Tubby.

B.C. (11-4): I'm a little skewed with BC because I know these guys: Smith, Dudley, Hinnant. Smith is a beast. He's good enough to carry BC on a nice run in the tourney. But if there is one thing we all know about championship teams, it's that they all have at least one brilliant backcourt weapon. I'm glancing at my NCAA archives right now...McCants/Felton, Gordon, McNamara, Dixon, Williams/Dunleavy, Cleeves, El-Amin. BC's main three guards are Hinnant, Marshall, and Rice. Statistically, their best passer is their worst long-range shooter (Hinnant). But you don't need numbers to see that they just don't have it. Bye bye, Skinner.

UConn (13-1): Frightening talent. No surprise, since Calhoun is a renowned dirty recruiter who will give his guys all kinds of breaks as long as they can make baskets. Also, all their fans are evil fat Wall Street retirees. On the bright side, their visit to the dome consistently brings out the most electric crowd of the season, and I get to be there again on Monday. Definitely one of the underrated rivalries in college basketball. The only game of the regular season that features 30,000 fans that are into every single play. (And yes, I'm aware that SU draws 30,000 fans to other games.) Verdict: Final Four bound.

Oklahoma (9-4): Can we just all agree that the Big 12 is overrated? Ever since SU beat half the conference in 2003 they've lost their sparkle, if they ever really had one. Last year they had only 2 teams in the sweet sixteen and both lost. And now Oklahoma has lost both its games against Big East teams (Nova and WV), and both its games against Big 12 teams (Nebraska and Missouri). That's enough right there to toss them out. But I do want to make one point regarding their talent. Their top two scorers are both seniors. What does that tell us? Well, it means that they weren't talented enough to leave early for the NBA. So they're probably not talented enough to win a championship. Talent beats experience, straight up. Adios Kelvin.

So now we're down to 17! Exciting! Below you'll notice I'm starting to sort out the pack a little bit. SU and Ohio State get their own category, the former because I can't fairly evaluate them as long as I think they're in the field, and the latter because it's a special situation featuring the greatest college basketball coach of all time. (You can read about him in last week's Sports Illustrated.)

Cream
Duke
UConn

Top Two Tiers
Gonzaga
Michigan St
Villanova
Louisville
Memphis
Illinois
Washington
Florida
------
Maryland
West Virginia
UNC (in some sort of odd metamorphosis of the Ewing Theory)
Pitt
Wake

The SU Tier
SU

The Thad Matta Tier
Ohio State

As always, if you want to weigh in, suggest teams to add, or argue for teams to drop, do so by writing pa451@yahoo.com.

Next time on NCAA Survivor...
"The Championship Caliber Trio of McNamara, Nichols, and Roberts."

Cheese on Shoulder

Many thanks to Eric for "Cheese on the Shoulder," by far the greatest game discussed in these pages. I took a little creative liberty and changed it to "Cheese on Shoulder" with clapping to the tune of "Let's go Orange." We did it three times over New Year's, and only James found the cheese himself. I had pictured it with American cheese, but was delighted to discover that the properties of Velveta (sticks to the ceiling) make it a perfect cheese for Cheese on Shoulder. This past week, during our annual celebration of Crunkmas in St. Louis, Cheese on Shoulder was introduced to The Natural Disaster of Austin, TX and Phil Pandizzi of SUNY Potsdam. So if you're ever in either of those locations, keep your ears open and your shoulders clear for Cheese on Shoulder.

















Short Paul looks around for the latest unsuspecting victim of Cheese on Shoulder.

The Weekly Grind - 1/6

A buddy of mine once argued with me for a good five to seven minutes about whether or not weekly grinding could actually happen. He pointed out the difficulty in keeping the same mentality going week in, week out. I told him to check the blog. He did, and conceded that it could, and does happen here.

Quick point about my top 10 Party Games list. It was clearly labeled "party" games not "drinking games". So to compare my list to the aptly titled "Top 10 College Drinking Games Part I" would be unfair. Its like comparing apples to drunk apples.

Thirdly, due to the influx of emails coming in, I will be unable to answer any of them in this week's column. Simply because a) I don't want to leave anyone out and b) there were no emails and I was lying about the influx.

Since this is the first week of the NFL Playoffs, I will bust my figurative load on analraping each of the wild-card matchups. I am also considering starting up the EA vs Bookies column only to curb my sports betting itch that has been getting stronger and stronger each week.

Tampa Bay vs Washington
"This game is going to be real fun to watch and should be high scoring leading to excitement and quality TV" -EA, with all the implied sarcasm he could muster.

That was a quote from me that I told someone at work just now when they asked why I was not processing files but typing a column about Tampa playing Washington. Seriously though, with the no. 1 ranked D going against another top 10 defense, this should be a defensive battle i.e. boring 13-9 start to the weekend. OR it could be high scoring...what the hell do I know. My guess is that Tampa gets run over by Portis and Cooley grabs a couple touchdowns as the Skins (+2.5) win 24-14.

Editors Note: EA was right on the mark as the Redskins covered 17-10
New England v Jacksonville
Brady is undefeated in the playoffs his whole career. Plus he is undefeated in every single game when the Patriots have more points than the opposing team when the final whistle blows. Think about that for a while.

Everyone is writing off Jacksonsville's chances for an upset. Hence, so am I. Davey Gerrard or Leftwich will not be able to do much against the Pats D. Thus, the 7.5 point favorite should have no problem covering in a blow-out. NE 33 - 10 Jax.


Editors Note: EA was right on the mark again with NE winning by 25....28-3

New York Giants v Carolina
The winner of this game , under my predicted scenario, will play the Bears of Chicago next week and ultimately lose. So it really doesn't matter who comes out on top because neither team has a shot. But, if I had my druthers, the Giants would take this one down. Yes Carolina has already lost to Chicago in Soldier Field but I am more scared of Dellhomme, Foster/Davis, and Steven Smith than Tiki and the rest. It should be an entertaining game with both teams putting up good numbers. I would feel comfortable taking the Giants giving 2.5 points. NYG 28, Carolina 24


Cincinatti v Pittsburgh
Its kind of funny how Cincy is a 1.5 point underdog at home in the playoffs. Its also funny how they let the Bills put up 37 points and win by 10 a couple weeks ago at home. A lot of funny things have been happening lately with the Bengals.

Pittsburgh reminds me of my '06 Fantasy football team which went 4-10 but then rattled off two straight solid weeks giving me the $100 cash prize and Toilet Bowl trophy. My point is, I see them winning after a disappointing middle of the season and making a run to the Super Bowl. It starts on Sunday as they punish the Bengals weak run D and advance to the next round with a 35-27 victory. By the way, the over 46, is EA's Lock of the Week.

There you have it, my picks and predictions. Humerous? A little bit. Entertaining? To say the least. Accurate? Most likely not.

I can only do so much with nothing coming in. Here's the email for those with questions/comments. ea20@yahoo.com