Arrasian Foolishness

There are a lot of good commercials out there, but with a few exceptions, it's usually hard to remember exactly which brand did which commercial, unless their name is right in the joke (Budweiser frogs, Bud Light stuntman, etc.). However, have you noticed how it's very easy to match a cell phone company with their commercials, even though they're in generally mediocre as far as entertainment goes? Try this quiz:

Match the commercial to the company...

1. Dude with the trenchcoat
2. The can you hear me now guy
3. People getting things done
4. Famous Welsh hottie tells us to Get More of something
5. 5 bars hidden in the landscape

A. Sprint
B. Verizon
C. T-Mobile
D. Nextel
E. Cingular

Piece of cake, right? I don't know what it means, I'm just pointing it out. In the meantime, I can't remember which company did those light beer trials, or which company is being advertised in the halftime beer run commercials. I know it's Miller or Bud, but I'm not sure which.

The only other point I'd like to make about this is that Coors is an outstanding exception to the beer commercial confusion because all their commercials suck. If it's a stupid commercial about beer, it's Coors . Can you name one Coors commercial from the past 10 years that didn't make you want to gouge your eyes out with your remote control? I think the main problem is they don't like to get too edgy because of Pete Coors' religious right affiliation.

Speaking of politics, have you ever noticed how the religious right sometimes doesn't seem too religious and is rarely right? Whereas I, on the other hand, am often religious and always right. The only thing we have in common is we both encouraged people to vote for Nader in 2000.

To sum up, if I was a pro-wrestler, I'd call myself the New Religious Right and have all sorts of trick moves that also make good points about the environment, like the "Hybrid." And I'd always love my enemies, thereby heaping burning coals on their heads.


Answers: 1-A, 2-B, 3-D, 4-C, 5-E