Turkey Bowl: My 2 Cents

The Late, Great Trent Dilfer once said..."I'm going to Disney World!"

I, too, am going to Disney World. Metaphorically, that is. Like Trent Dilfer, I'll be doing everything I can to limit turnovers. Like Trent Dilfer, I'll be looking for Mickey Mouse (Dan Arras) everytime I visit the Magic Kingdom (Red Zone). And like Trent Dilfer, I shaved my head back in September only to discover that my forehead is vaguely thinning, though not enough to notice once it grows back in.

Eric can be excused for not realizing that Chris Fyall retired prior to the Turkey Bowl last year. In Madden Terms, he is Out for Career: Knee. Better than Out for Career: Death. We can try to talk him into playing, but he is in Seattle right now, so we'll need to pitch in money to fly him back for a couple hours. Orbitz is the best site.

So yes, last year we were without Jeff Garcia's little brother. (If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, then Chris Fyall is the Kurt Warner of the Arras-Allen Turkey Bowl.) I had to step in and play 90% of the downs at QB, with dad taking the other 10%. But Dan has already alluded to how that went. Look for the same setup this year.

I did work out with my personal trainer, Colin Burns, today at the YMCA gym. We emphasized arm muscles. Now they're sore so I probably won't be able to throw more than 20 yards. Luckily we play on a short "Middle-Aged Friendly" field.

I think the big X-Factor this year is Brian. If he recaptures the form he showed when he was in high school, he'll give the Arras secondary some real matchup problems. Put the crafty, but slower Paul on him? Or the fast but drunk Dan on him? It'll be tough. But Chris Mortensen says Brian reminds him of Bartolo Colon. Hmmm...

Anyway, Trent Dilfer is my hero. I'll be emmulating him tomorrow. Hopefully, with good results.

The Weekly Grind 11-18

Has it been a week already? Man, we don't call it a Grind because it is not a Grind. That wouldn't make any sense. After last week's reunion with our old friend Collectors Knives, I don't see how this week can possibly live up to the heightened expectations. But I'll give it a shot.

The 49ers covered last week against the now 6-3 Bears giving EA's Masterlock "Lock of the Week" an undefeated 4-0. Of course, I have not been actually putting money on my picks but it still feels nice to pick winners for a change. Without further ado, the Lock this week is the Favre-led Packers (-4.5) against the Vikings. Why? Because is MNF and you never bet against Favre. Ever. or is it Never? Either way, lock it up!

On to the questions.
First one comes from Chicago, Miller writes: The Colbert Report. Yea or Nay? Survivor. Is Probst leaving soon (rumor)? If yes, does that kill the show? Grey's Anatomy. Patrick Dempsey's a) a true actor or b) in his 2nd 15 minutes of fame (post-Donald/Ronnie Miller). Good luck. Alveedersen. Guzuntheight. Farewell.

EA - Well Miller, you are kind of all over the place but I'll try and tackle your questions. I am kind of on the fence with The Colbert Report. When he goes out on in the field and does stories about obscure people, a la the Daily Show, the Report gets two thumbs up. Though his studio interviews are ackward and lack the balance of humor and serious discussion that Jon Stewart brings to the table. I'll give it a Yay as I think in time, the Report will develop into a good show. Though I think Arrested Development is the best show on TV and its probably getting cancelled so what do I know?

Anyone notice how much of a jackass Probst has been this Survivor. During the challenges, he is like a drunk Raiders fan, talking trash to the players and calling them names. I think he might actually be leaving the show soon and is almost trying to get fired. The show won't be done when he leaves, its the best reality series ever. Attractive people with almost no clothes on diving through mud, wrestling in honey, it doesn't get much better than that.

Grey's Anatomy is a great show. Patrick Dempsey seems like he might be a true actor. He's the black guy right?

I read the article on ESPN.com about how vendors are slashing prices on Owens jerseys. Also, Sports Guy's comment about Randall Gay and the un-wear-ability of that jersey is never far from my mind. So, this week, I'm wondering: What's the NFL's least wear-able jersey?- Chris, Syracuse

EA- Great question Chris, it is difficult to top the R. Gay jersey. Though I think any huge black man wearing a white players jersey like Aikman or Plummer or Cody Pickett is hysterical. Here are some contenders for least wearable jersey in the NFL. Dick Butkus. Rae Carruth. Hugh Jass. Neil Rackers. Korey Stringer. I.M Adeuche. Ok..most of those were made up but it was a tough question.

In your opinion, what percentage of the calls do you think go Duke's way during the hoops year. I would venture to guess nearly all of them. Jay- College Park, MD

EA- At home, they get every single call possible. It's a bit ridiculous. And with my Tar Heels out of the Top 25 after winning the championship last year, I have a bad feeling that many of the Duke/UNC contests will end in me curled up in the fetal position, sobbing, regardless of how the calls fall. I hate Duke and you will hear me bashing them the whole year.


Thats all I got, I am off to go see the new Harry Potter movie. I will let you know what I think of it next week.

SKY has promised me a new post in the near future. So for those SKY fans, stay patient and you will be rewarded.

Comments/Questions/Thoughts.........ea20@yahoo.com

The Weekly Grind - 11.11

Sad day for everyone here at EAsBlog as Arrested Development has once again been cut down in episodes AND in all likelihood, cancelled after this season.

That tragic news, coupled with the fact that it is Veterans Day, leads this week's Grind to be short and sweet. We did get some emails from our readers but that will have to wait til next week.

EA's Lock of the Week is now 3-0 after the 1.5 pt underdog Vikings thrashed the Lions 27-14. This week, many of you will be suprised to know that I am taking the 49ers against my Bears. San Fran is 13.5 point underdogs. They are not going to win but the Bears haven't beat anyone that badly since the '85 Super Bowl.


Fantasy Studs - 1. Kyle Orton 2. Deion Branch 3. TJ Duckett
Fantasy Duds- 1. Kerry Collins 2. Kevin Jones 3. Brian Westbrook

My Studs this week are the less obvoious choices whom for whatever reason I believe will have terrific games this week. The Duds are the guys that I think suck at fantasy football. Period.


Thats it ladies and gentlemen. More to come next week.
ea20@yahoo.com for thoughts/comments/questions

The Weekly Grind Nov. 4

"I didn't realize it would be such a grind" - SKY, when asked by EA whether he would participate in the Weekly Grind this week. He later declined.

Last week we saw EA"s Masterlock "Lock of the Week" yield positive results for those gamblers brave enough to throw money down on the winless Texans who covered by a single point. Whats it going to be this week? Drumroll please............The Vikings (+1.5) against the hapless Lions. Call me crazy, but Brad Johnson might actually be an upgrade over Culpepper.

A few questions from the "loyals" this week...much appreciated for those who commented about last week's piece too. Its always nice to know that people care.

Lets get down to it, shall we?

"Hey EA....you know that show LOST? Why does it suck so much?" - J.S - NYC

EA - First off, great point about the show. It does suck and the problem may not be in the actual quality of the week to week episodes. When you set the bar so incredibly high like they did with the season premiere, there is nowhere to go but down. Much like Prison Break on Fox, Lost was great the first week or two but then you start to think thoughts like "this is getting fucking ridiculous" and "boy, I wish I had the last hour of my life back".

Its like having sex with your girlfriend for the first time in your relationship, and you happen to be really drunk so you go at it like a porn star for a solid hour. Now your girlfriend (the viewers) expect porn star quality week in and week out, but you (the show Lost) are sober the next week and are pretty impressive for only about 5 to 10 minutes. Not too bad but not spectacular and your girlfriend (us) is left wanting more and slightly dissappointed.

Apt analogy, isn't it?

"How do you like your beloved Tar Heels chances at repeating as National Champions this year now that they lost their top seven scorers? " -Mike- Charleston, NC

EA - .....................(quiet weeping)................................

"At the beginning of the NBA season, I'm starting to wonder: Who'd you take in a knife fight: Ray Lewis, or Paul Pierce's posse?" Chris, Fayetteville

EA- A Ken Hamlin joke would be applicable here, followed of course by the standard Too Soon? comment but thats too easy. So I would have to say if I had to pick either Lewis who I believe has actually killed a man, or Paul Pierce's posse, I would have to go with the posse. Purely for alliterative purposes.

Thats it for this week. Enjoy it and hopefully SKY will be back next week to answer the many questions directed only to him regarding among other things Phish, Hockey and Phish message boards.

Orange you glad it's basketball season?*

Lot's of great things to take away from tonight's game against Saint Rose, especially if you're an optimist like me enjoying the Glory Years of SU basketball. Are you an optimist? Take my "Everything's Coming Up Saint Roses" quiz to find out.

1. SU only won 86-73 against a team that plays in Lemoyne's conference because...
A. Mookie's number is 13 and they're going to win by everyone's jersey number this year so they had to get the unlucky one out of the way.
B. SU sucks

2. Boeheim got ejected because...
A. He's the Mayor of Bracketville and the Refs were jealous.
B. SU sucks and he didn't want to watch them play.

3. Syracuse committed 20 turnovers because...
A. No one was ready for how sweet Eric Devendorf's no-look passes are. No one.
B. SU sucks

4. Terrance Roberts played only 9 minutes because...
A. He's so good, it hurts his game to play against sub-par opponents.
B. His knee sucks.

5. SU only outrebounded Saint Rose by 4 boards because...
A. It's not that they suck, it's just something they have to work on.
B. SU sucks

If you answered B to any of the questions, you aren't a real Orangemen Optimist. You are embarassed by last year's loss to Vermont instead of proud of last year's Big East Championship and Conference Player of the Year honors. You need to lighten up and enjoy the glory years of Syracuse Basketball. Winters aren't going to get any better then this up here. Come. Drink the Kool-Aid.


*By "orange" I meant "aren't." It was an attempt at a pun.