Speaking of Drinking Games......

Here is one that I enjoyed over the last 8 months of American Idol:

It is pretty simple, yet incredibly intoxicating. Just drink every time Bo Bice is signing while holding the microphone stand.......that is it.


For loyal readers it has become pretty evident that there is little effort put into consistent daily posts by the team and for that I apologize. But during that ackward period between the end of March Madness and the beginning of preseason NFL (approx 4 months) there may be slightly less material to work with. This site has become in the words of guest blogger Billy "watered down". Simply put, I am not sure how many jokes I can come up with about my fantasy baseball team and Cocoa Crisp.

Oh well.....

What if God was one of us?

I think that God has been playing Tiger Woods '05 on PS2 the last couple years and for some reason, he decided to play as "Annika Sorenstam". She has been dominating, winning 8 out of her last 11 tournaments including last week's 23 under victory at the Chick-Fil-A Charity Championship. Now I know what you are thinking. Why the hell am I talking about women's sports? Honestly, I don't really know, maybe its because I haven't posted in a while and am stretching for something entertaining. When I play Tiger and win tournaments shooting 48, 53, 52, 51 for a 37 shot victory using Notah Begay, it reminds me of whats happening now in the LPGA. And then I can picture God sitting up in the clouds slamming the L1 button for extra power and really getting into it.....and that makes me laugh.

I think its about time he switches to Tiger mode and lets some of the other ladies win a couple times.

Sometimes.......

Sometimes when I am at Burger King, I say "super-size it" just to piss them off. I am not really sure if it works.

Sometimes at work I scream out "Ice berg right ahead" ala Titanic, people don't get the joke.

Sometimes I start posts and realize they aren't funny but still post them anyway.

....With Club Sauce.

The target market for shows like "Friends" and "Simpsons" and to a lesser extent "Life on a Stick" can be compared to "Jeopardy" watchers. Where am I going with this? Well, I think this is the main reason why "Arrested Development" is struggling and "Everyone loves Raymond" has been around for 27 years. Let me explain:

Jeopardy is a popular game show that has been around for decades. People enjoy watching it because they can play along and guess the questions along with the contestants. Now, some times during the year Jeopardy goes into creative mode and has "Teen Jeopardy" and "College Edition Jeopardy". These competitions have easier questions and more not-smart people can enjoy and buzz in with the right guess every few minutes. On the opposite spectrum, the current "Tournament of Champions" has incredibly brilliant contestants trying to answer extremely difficult questions on subjects like nuclear physics and third century artisans. The average person watching probably has a difficult time getting any questions right so they stop watching. It is too frustrating for them to realize that maybe they aren't that intellectual after all.

You see, "Arrested Development" is the sit-com's version of "Tournament of Champions". It is an incredibly smart comedy that is underappreciated by the masses. Why? Because, one would argue, the masses are idiots. Too often television comedy is fart jokes and physical comedy made famous by the late Chris Farley i.e. nearly every SNL skit for the last 6 years. People can't get most of the jokes so it frustrates them. AD makes you think about the jokes and many people just can't grasp the connection between Felidia Featherbottom and Mrs. Doubtfire/Mary Poppins. I am not saying people who don't watch AD are not smart enough to "get" the humor but because the show has struggled, many people follow the lead of the majority and don't bother to tune in. Some people just need that laugh track to give them a heads-up on when a joke was made. It is a sad state of affairs.

Other shows like "Stacked" with Pam Anderson and that Sketch Show with Kelsey Grammar probably have similar ratings because there are people out there that like to watch the "poop in the flaming bag" routine over and over. These are the same people who thought movies like "Kung-Foo Enter the Fist" and "Welcome to Mooseport" were classics. They buy Carrot Top dvds and laugh at the "Gellin" commercials. They read (and believe) tabloid magazines and buy large amounts of scratch-off lottery tickets.

Thankfully, Fox seems to have been cock-blocked by critics who view AD as one of the best comedies of all time and will probably be forced to keep it on the air until it loses its luster and/or reality television takes over 24/7. Even if the show is cancelled, it will hopefully turn to HBO and tackle racier subjects without limits to content and language. Who knows? It could even be a good thing.