Running Diary: NFL Pregame
Seems like a good idea...let's see where it goes.
11:00 - Wake up. Pre games show start now.
11:15 - Check Random Thoughts.
11:26 - Decide to do a running diary of the pre-game shows. Turn on pre-game shows. If I were actually a journalist, I would lie and say I was watching the first 25 minutes. But I'm just a humorist, so we can all laugh about it together.
11:26 - I got a pint of chocolate milk last night, drank a little bit of it, then was too tired to take it to the fridge before I went to sleep. Is it still ok to drink now? Answer: we'll find out! If drinking really old but not quite spoiled milk was a job, I'd be a millionaire. Same thing with sushi that has been sitting out all day at Wegmans, which I ate last night at 11:00.
11:30 - Boomer's voice gets my attention on ESPN. There's like 3 guys who were born to do football broadcasting. The guy from NFL films, Howard Cosell, and Chris Berman.
11:31 - Hahaha! Looooove boat! Soon we'll be making another runnnn! Vikings...
11:32 - I think the chocolate in the milk blocks the spoiled taste. Nothing I can do about the warmness.
11:34 - The ESPN voice says there's plenty more on the Vikings ahead...I'm switching channels.
11:37 - Wait...the Fox and CBS pre-games don't start until noon. Unless Fox has a new show with a 60 year old woman with crazy hair, a zebra shirt, and matching earings, and a guy who kinda looks like the guy on Cold Pizza, a show I still refuse to watch. Did anyone understand that sentence? Let's press on.
11:39 - Thank God I turned back to the master, ESPN! Madden is on! He would make the hug list, except I think he's a blithering idiot who brings nothing to the table. Why does everyone hate Dick Vitale and love John Madden?
11:44 - Arright, count me in for the Chad Johnson bandwagon. He's loveable-crazy like T.O.
11:55 - Hey! They're replaying the Syracuse game on TimeWarnerSports!
11:56 - That's the most SU football I've watched all year. They gave up a TD, by the way. Thank Boeheim for the Glory Years of Syracuse Basketball!
12:00 - Perfect time for a Tomlinson package. Until Peyton starts ripping off Super Bowls, Tomlinson is the greatest player in the world. Can Marty Schottenheimer be shot if he ever gives Ladanian the ball less than 20 times again?
12:04 - I think Mort lives in that little box studio. He'd be huggable if he was doing the same job as a 75-year-old. Oh wow...I just had an image of John Clayton doing his job at 75! He's borderline huggable now! He might break the chart!
12:06 - Here's the Vikings package they keep teasing. NOW I'm changing to Fox.
12:06 - And...Fox is still annoying. Tony Siragusa still works there.
12:07 - Bulger - OUT. Holt - OUT. Bruce - OUT. Martz - OUT. Prediction: the Rams aren't making the playoffs this year.
12:08 - Garcia or Harrington...Garcia! I'm playing him this week baby! Gotta make that change now... Garcia for Harrington, Harrington dropped for Hakim, Hakim in for Horn. If you're wondering, this is the 20 team league. OK, now I have to reference Dan's all-time funniest joke (that was your own, right Dan?)... If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, then Jeff Garcia is a homosexual.
12:13 - Daunte Culpepper broken down now on Fox. This is why I don't spend high draft picks on QBs: for the sake of my sanity. Instead, in the middle of the year I pick up a guy who wants to be Mike Piazza's roommate.
12:16 - DirecTV apparent thinks it's the 50s. They're jingle is: "Somebody up there loves you! DirecTV!!!!!"
12:17 - Switched to ESPN in time to see the King dunk a football on a goalpost. How great is this ad campaign? What are they going to do for the Super Bowl? Did anyone else just own themselves thinking about it?
12:20 - Shannon Sharpe has been talking for 10 minutes straight on CBS...the Pats O-Line is advertising Visa on Fox...back to ESPN! Ahhh...Steve Young!
12:22 - According to Steve, the Broncos have a "no-interception philosophy." Apparently, Mike Shannahan attended the famous 2004 Arras-Allen Bowl when I employed that game plan in a stunning upset.
12:26 - The guys think Ricky needs more carries. They also think I need to slowly build my blogging back up. They don't agree with me going all out on my 2nd blog back from my world tour hiatus.
12:34 - Mayne Event on the King! You WISH you were watching!
12:37 - Shannon Sharpe says Chester Taylor should get more carries than Jamal. I picked up Chester during the week in one of my leagues...did YOU????
12:44 - Terry Bradshaw appears to be high right now. That actually explains a lot.
12:59 - The Trunk Monkey ad seems like a good place to end. You guys get these ads in Rochester? Possibly the funniest gimic for a local dealer I've ever seen. The monkey just came out of the trunk and beat up some kids for throwing eggs at the guy's car. The only way it'd be better was if he was carrying the disease from Outbreak.
1:00 - Football starts. I'm outta here.
11:00 - Wake up. Pre games show start now.
11:15 - Check Random Thoughts.
11:26 - Decide to do a running diary of the pre-game shows. Turn on pre-game shows. If I were actually a journalist, I would lie and say I was watching the first 25 minutes. But I'm just a humorist, so we can all laugh about it together.
11:26 - I got a pint of chocolate milk last night, drank a little bit of it, then was too tired to take it to the fridge before I went to sleep. Is it still ok to drink now? Answer: we'll find out! If drinking really old but not quite spoiled milk was a job, I'd be a millionaire. Same thing with sushi that has been sitting out all day at Wegmans, which I ate last night at 11:00.
11:30 - Boomer's voice gets my attention on ESPN. There's like 3 guys who were born to do football broadcasting. The guy from NFL films, Howard Cosell, and Chris Berman.
11:31 - Hahaha! Looooove boat! Soon we'll be making another runnnn! Vikings...
11:32 - I think the chocolate in the milk blocks the spoiled taste. Nothing I can do about the warmness.
11:34 - The ESPN voice says there's plenty more on the Vikings ahead...I'm switching channels.
11:37 - Wait...the Fox and CBS pre-games don't start until noon. Unless Fox has a new show with a 60 year old woman with crazy hair, a zebra shirt, and matching earings, and a guy who kinda looks like the guy on Cold Pizza, a show I still refuse to watch. Did anyone understand that sentence? Let's press on.
11:39 - Thank God I turned back to the master, ESPN! Madden is on! He would make the hug list, except I think he's a blithering idiot who brings nothing to the table. Why does everyone hate Dick Vitale and love John Madden?
11:44 - Arright, count me in for the Chad Johnson bandwagon. He's loveable-crazy like T.O.
11:55 - Hey! They're replaying the Syracuse game on TimeWarnerSports!
11:56 - That's the most SU football I've watched all year. They gave up a TD, by the way. Thank Boeheim for the Glory Years of Syracuse Basketball!
12:00 - Perfect time for a Tomlinson package. Until Peyton starts ripping off Super Bowls, Tomlinson is the greatest player in the world. Can Marty Schottenheimer be shot if he ever gives Ladanian the ball less than 20 times again?
12:04 - I think Mort lives in that little box studio. He'd be huggable if he was doing the same job as a 75-year-old. Oh wow...I just had an image of John Clayton doing his job at 75! He's borderline huggable now! He might break the chart!
12:06 - Here's the Vikings package they keep teasing. NOW I'm changing to Fox.
12:06 - And...Fox is still annoying. Tony Siragusa still works there.
12:07 - Bulger - OUT. Holt - OUT. Bruce - OUT. Martz - OUT. Prediction: the Rams aren't making the playoffs this year.
12:08 - Garcia or Harrington...Garcia! I'm playing him this week baby! Gotta make that change now... Garcia for Harrington, Harrington dropped for Hakim, Hakim in for Horn. If you're wondering, this is the 20 team league. OK, now I have to reference Dan's all-time funniest joke (that was your own, right Dan?)... If it looks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, then Jeff Garcia is a homosexual.
12:13 - Daunte Culpepper broken down now on Fox. This is why I don't spend high draft picks on QBs: for the sake of my sanity. Instead, in the middle of the year I pick up a guy who wants to be Mike Piazza's roommate.
12:16 - DirecTV apparent thinks it's the 50s. They're jingle is: "Somebody up there loves you! DirecTV!!!!!"
12:17 - Switched to ESPN in time to see the King dunk a football on a goalpost. How great is this ad campaign? What are they going to do for the Super Bowl? Did anyone else just own themselves thinking about it?
12:20 - Shannon Sharpe has been talking for 10 minutes straight on CBS...the Pats O-Line is advertising Visa on Fox...back to ESPN! Ahhh...Steve Young!
12:22 - According to Steve, the Broncos have a "no-interception philosophy." Apparently, Mike Shannahan attended the famous 2004 Arras-Allen Bowl when I employed that game plan in a stunning upset.
12:26 - The guys think Ricky needs more carries. They also think I need to slowly build my blogging back up. They don't agree with me going all out on my 2nd blog back from my world tour hiatus.
12:34 - Mayne Event on the King! You WISH you were watching!
12:37 - Shannon Sharpe says Chester Taylor should get more carries than Jamal. I picked up Chester during the week in one of my leagues...did YOU????
12:44 - Terry Bradshaw appears to be high right now. That actually explains a lot.
12:59 - The Trunk Monkey ad seems like a good place to end. You guys get these ads in Rochester? Possibly the funniest gimic for a local dealer I've ever seen. The monkey just came out of the trunk and beat up some kids for throwing eggs at the guy's car. The only way it'd be better was if he was carrying the disease from Outbreak.
1:00 - Football starts. I'm outta here.
posted by Prof. A at 1:01 p.m.
1 Comments:
It's Tuesday, and there has been little sign of any digestive difficulties.
Paul 1
Old Milk 0
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