The Case for DirecTV

I recently switched over from Time Warner cable to DirecTV and, let me brutally honest with you, if Time Warner is "Neal Anderson", than DirecTV is "Walter Payton". Why does anyone NOT have DirecTV at this stage in the modern era? I compare it to back in the late 90's when dial-up connections were popular and if it took me less than 45 minutes to download Skee-lo's "I Wish", I was elated. Then RoadRunner and DSL came along and now if it takes more than 3 minutes to download anything, I get frustrated. What a world we live in.

Here are a few highlights from my recently acquired satelite service:

HD Programming -Sportscenter in high def is ridiculous. As Kevin commented last night, "It makes Stuart Scott's eye look even lazier."

Programming on additional TV's - with three extra receivers, DirecTV has hooked our 3 bedroom's up with the exact same channels (minus HD of course) as our main TV. Which means we get NFL Ticket as well as the HBOs, Showtimes, ESPNU, Gol TV, etc.

Quality of Service -the DirecTV guys swept through our apartment like Delta Force on a hostage-rescue mission. It was like watching Jim Carrey in "Cable Guy" only much more entertaining. The DirecTV guys even disabled Time Warner's internet services as if to say, "go fuck yourself competing companies".

TiVo - we can record 200 hours of regular TV on our new Tivo system. Thats the equivalent of a hundred episodes of Family Guy...pretty impressive.

Sports Packages - NFL Ticket is tremendous. There is even a Super Fan package that has a channel strictly for red-zone attempts. Another channel lets you broadcast up to 8 games at one time. Still another lets you watch any game the next day in less than 30 minutes (no commercials, huddles, timeouts etc). If this weren't enough, we can and will get English Premier League games every Saturday and Sunday as well as March Madness, the mecca of colllege hoops fans. If we fancy, ESPN Full Court and Season Pass gives us hundreds of more games to bet on and watch. It may cost a bit more to get these packages but it will all be worth it.

In conclusion, Time Warner blows, DirecTV doesn't.

EA's Vault: UNC v. Virginia

You know how writers sometimes have difficulty coming up with entertaing, humerous articles so they simply re-post old stuff. Well, seeing as how this blog now sucks ass, I figure I might as well go back and remind the reader(s...if there happens to be more than one at this stage) that we used to be funny.

UNC vs Virginia
UNC vs UVA

I am going to be doing my reviews of UNC hoops on a game-by-game basis. This will help me post more on my blog as well as keep the memories fresh in my readers’ heads assuming they actually watch the game too.

ESPN decided to run this game as an ESPN Classic, complete with old school graffics, Doris Burke dressed in 70’s garb reporting from the sidelines, a digitally simulated Afro on Roy Williams and even the occasional “colored boy” reference by commentator Mike Patrick. I got so caught up in the nostalgia that I actually channel-surfed for Empty Nest and Alf at half time.

My favorite quote of the night was “The more shots you take in perfect form, the better your form will be in game situations, that’s all about practice makes perfect, no…perfect practice makes perfect. “ Was George Bush guest-commentating this game?

That quote was from Len Elmore who actually had a fake Afro on, a fact I was unaware of when I wrote the Roy Williams/Afro comment earlier so I decided to keep that in my post.

As for the actually game itself, Carolina led 39-24 at the half which is no surprise seeing as how they beat Virginia by 74 points at UVA. If my math is correct they should win 78-48 covering the spread (-23) and giving me the much needed fictional “win” in my dismal picks of the day.

Quote of the second half, again by Len Elmore…”the last thing you want to do if you are a scholarship player is have a walk-on dunk on you”.

Ladies and Gentlemen we have our first Caucasian sighting of the night with 3 minutes left in the game. That has to be a good sign for my bet…….3 minutes later, final score 85-61 proving once again how incredibly accurate the Vegas odds makers are.